The Daily Puppy

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

classmate or how time flies



        HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND
THINKING,

        SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD..... well, .

        

        

        MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY
FIRST

        APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

        

        I NOTICED HIS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY:

        

        I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME
HAD

        BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 50-ODD YEARS AGO.

        

        COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK
THEN?

        

        UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT..

        

        THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO

        OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

        

        AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN
PARK

        HIGH SCHOOL ..

        

        'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

        

        WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

        

        HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1962. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

        

        YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

        

        HE STOPPED AND LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

        

        THEN, THAT UGLY,

        

        OLD,

        

        BALD HEADED,

        

        WRINKLED FACED,

        

        FAT-ASSED,

        

        GRAY-HAIRED,

        

        DECREPIT

        

        OLD SON-OF-A-BITCH

        

        ASKED,

        

        'WHAT SUBJECT DID YOU TEACH???

        

Monday, March 5, 2012

THE GREAT WOODY CARS.....
















iwannawatch.net

http://www.iwannawatch.net/category/horror/

THE THING,,MOVIE

http://worldstudycenter.net/vpp.php?url=0905372

AMERICAS DUMBEST CRIMINALS

http://www.rd.com/home/dumbest-criminals-in-america/

LONGEST FART IN THE WORLD,,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCpPEnwQe3Q&feature=related

FARTMAN IN CONCERT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofn8-3SWd8M

FART MAN PERFORMING

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a74_1183384099

GOD AND GUNS,,LYNYRD SKYNYRD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDjQkGql9r8&feature=related

LUCKY MAN,, LYNYRD SKYNYRD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fma7_4Mpzmo&feature=related

WOMEN OF MINE,,LYNYRD SKYNYRD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5idOXHjdk8&feature=fvwrel

CHEATEN WOMEN,,LYNYRD SKYNYRD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ7oQdG4KdE&feature=endscreen&NR=1

HERITAGE BOOK SHOP IN BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA,,THE STORY BEHIND IT

http://www.booktryst.com/2012/02/american-rare-book-trade-annals.html

Friday, March 2, 2012

METALLICA,,TURN THE PAGE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kflkPnMGTWI&feature=related

the english language,,NO WONDER ITS CONFUSING



PRICELESS!!!!!
 
The 
Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word 
from the dictionary, alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing one 
letter, and supply a new definition.


Here 
are the winners:
1.
Cashtration
 (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.


2.
Ignoranus
: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.



3.
Intaxicaton
: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize
it was your money to start with.



4. Reintarnation: Coming
back to life as a hillbilly.



5. Bozone ( n.): The substance
surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.



6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.



7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted
very, very high



8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.



9.
Inoculatte
: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.



10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)



11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is
sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.



12. Decafalon
(n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that
are good for you.



13. Glibido: All talk and no action.




14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.



15. Arachnoleptic 
Fit
 (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.



16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form
of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be
cast out.



17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after
finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.



The 
Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly 
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common 
words.

 

And the winners are:   


1.
Coffee
, n. The person upon whom one coughs.



2.
Flabbergasted
, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.




3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.



4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while
drunk.



5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.



6.
Negligent
, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.



7. Lymph, v. To walk with a
lisp.



8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored
mouthwash.



9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.



10.
Balderdash
, n. A rapidly receding hairline.



11.
Testicle
, n. A humorous question on an exam.



12.
Rectitude
, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.




13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.


14.
Oyster
, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.




15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the
soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.



16.
Circumvent
, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.
 

how to spell oklahoma


Subject: learning is fun


How do you pronounce Oklahoma ?

Do you think it's correct?

There is a right way and a wrong way to pronounce Oklahoma ..

If you say OK...LAHOMA

You're wrong.


The proper way is:

OKLA...HOMA

There's a gap between the 'a' and the 'h'.
I can prove it.....................

ten teams now get into major league baseball playoffs,,,zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-expandedplayoffs

THE SNIPER

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfpvRcXGqik