PRICELESS!!!!!
The
Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word
from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition.
Here
are the winners:1.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3.
Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize
it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming
back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance
surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted
very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is
sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon
(n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that
are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic
Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form
of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be
cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after
finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The
Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
And the winners are:
1.
Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2.
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while
drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6.
Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a
lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored
mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10.
Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11.
Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.
Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14.
Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the
soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16.
Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.
Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word
from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition.
Here
are the winners:1.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3.
Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize
it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming
back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance
surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted
very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is
sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon
(n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that
are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic
Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form
of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be
cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after
finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The
Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
And the winners are:
1.
Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2.
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while
drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6.
Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a
lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored
mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10.
Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11.
Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.
Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14.
Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the
soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16.
Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.
1 comment:
These were all funny, but the 'reintarnation' one made me laugh the most.
Dag-nabbit.averstr gniters
Post a Comment